My wife told me that our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work. Then she asked 😡, "Why don't you do that?!"

So late one night a priest was showering and noticed there was no soap left so he ran to get a couple bars of soap when he heard 3 nuns walking toward him so he froze holding the two bars of soap. The first nun says I never noticed this statue before and reached out and tugged his junk and he was so surprised he dropped a bar of soap. The 2nd nun said ohh it's a soap dispenser so the 2nd nun tugged his junk he dropped the other bar. The 3rd nun tugged once nothing happens so she tugs it again nothing, so she tries a few more times then says oh wow it dispenses liquid soap as well.

if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand

“Stool pigeon!”

It screams.

No, you fucking pervert. Its her nostrils... how else could sh breathe while giving you a blow job

In a bull dozer

Where you left it.

Nothing you fool, food can't talk!

He is my Czech mate.

tele-phony.